In this blog, I am going to talk about me and only me. For all friends who know me probably for years need not intro but most of you only know me after I graduated from High School or from College or from work. No one knows me as a kid!
Some will argue that they need not know that as I am still a kid! A big kid that is. Hahaha… Well, I am young at heart, what can I do? So here’s my story, about Steve Chan a.k.a. ‘U’ Lian or ah Fir or Steve or Kar Heng or Geng-geng (Longan in Hokkien) or any other nicknames I miss out… Enjoy
Once upon a time in 1978 some time after Christmas, a loving couple makes passionate love in a small town name KB. After their happy marriage that night, this loving couple was having the time of their life enjoying their new life as husband and wife. The husband works as an army corporal handling electrical appliances range from a light bulb to the control tower radar for RAAF (Royal Australian Air Force) and TUDM (Tentera Udara Di-Raja
Unknown to them a small microscopic sperm swims through the channel in search of the ‘egg’ to cumulate into life in this world. How hard the small sperm need to fight and to swim to win the race against another few millions others sperms to succeed; only god knows.
Few months later the wife told the husband that she’s pregnant accidentally because of a certain forget-to-consume-pill. A big accident according to this couple as the husband need to be assigned for a training in
A few months later on 4th of October 1979, the wife was rush to the hospital in B’worth for the coming of the new baby. It was near midnight then and after a few hours after midnight, the baby was born. Birth date on 5th October 1979 (Chinese Calendar is on Moon Cake Festival!), a boy was born on the clear midnight sky that fateful day. The boy was named Chan Kar Heng. And that’s me! *applause* *cheer* *applause*
I can’t remember much for the first couple of years I am alive to this world. Not much recollection when I am 1 and 2 years Old. :P And then, I am Three (3) in no time! You have never seen a livelier kid than me! Hehehe.. And I am the king of the world INTERNATIONAL in my domain. What I want, I get! At that time I am the only kid in da block!
Good god, you guys and gals must be thinking I am going to talk about my 3 years old experience, 4 years old, 5 years, 6, 7…Fret not. I am not!
Well as the new kid on the block have some advantage you know. In the 80’s, the building beside my home is a movie theatre. I get to watch movie there for free. Maybe that’s why now I am a bit reluctant to watch movie in Cineplex. Last time I used to watch a movie from the VIP seating and it does not even cost me a cent. The ticket price then was just a mere 50 Cents for normal seating and 70 cents for VIP.
Have you guys tried a 20 cents nasi lemak and 15 cents kopi ‘o’? Yeah I know. I am old man liao… but now? At least RM1.20 for a char bee hoon and 90 cents for kopi ‘o’. The world had change a lot since then. I still remember RM1 can last a primary school boy for a whole week. Now, at least RM10 for the kids.
My brother was born around this period. 1983
Then come the 90’s, first stepped in to secondary school. Mix with a lot of Malays and to tell the truth, I don’t have a single Chinese friend from Std 1 to Form 3. Only when I join another secondary school in 1995 I have my first Chinese friend in Form 4. From then on, I learn all the swear words I used till now from my friend. :P
By this time, a lot of my Chinese friend had not known me for more than 9 years (I mix with Malays from Std 1 to Form 3 remember?) so they only know I come from Kepala Batas, Union Café. Thus the nick name ‘U’ Lian (Stands for
My 2nd brother was born around this time. 1989
At this time, I had join the school football team, softball team, hockey team and ping pong team. Yeah I know… I am sucker for any games with balls. No pun intended. In a short time I had finished my Form 5 SPM. So I need to make a decision quick, to join the FAM trial team or to continue my studies? I should have chosen football but nooo… I wanna get my own first computer so I told mom I gonna join KDU for Computer Studies.
So Enter KDU (Kolej Duit Utama) in 1997. Meet a lot of new friends, meet lots of gals. Meet the bunch of friends who call me ah Fir. Why ah Fir? This, thanks to Loli-da-J-Clan loo… I am internet stupid on 1997, so I ask Loli to teach me how to use email. He showed me once and I wanna try it out. I send him an email sound something like this.
“Dear Loli,
I am a new student here and my name is Jennifer. I saw you in the hall way and you are the first boy I see here that catch my attention. I am in the Business Study class so I just think to send you an email to make friend with you.
I hope we will be friend and hear from you soon.
Signed.
xxx Jennifer”
My god, you will wish that you were a fly on my shoulder at that moment. So happy my new found friend (Loli) when he receives this email. He told the whole class that got a gal like him and wanna be friend on the first day at school. Then after a few hours he found out it was me! So from then on he tells everyone I am the culprit for the email and they starts calling me Jennifer. After awhile everyone thought Jennifer is a gal. They change that to ah Fir since then.
I don’t mind getting this nick though. Every time they mention ah Fir, I will remember the jokes that I make. The victim is not me… is Loli. Hahaha… The Jokes on him, not me. :P
Got a Higher Diploma. 1999
A few years goes by, we had our Diploma. Some went straight to work. Some continue to study. Me and my gang work and part time Degree Course loo… So I started my part working, part studying life in year 2K. All the hype about millennium bug laa… this laa that laa.. I join Loli in
Those were the days. Work life’s great, Study’s even better. All night class so not so much people in college then. Play soccer on the basketball court and sorts. Join a gang to play Counter-Strike. We even had an unofficial match between Dell and Intel in CS. 4 match. 2 match in De_Dust and 2 in Aztech. Each team must as Terrorist and C-Terrorist. We won by 12-1, 12-0 in De_Dust and 12-1, 12-0 in Aztech. We have a good team CS mah… My nick in CS, -KCB-
-KCB- stands for Koi Chee Bah (bat). Koi Chee = Fruits in Hokkien. literally means Fruit Bat. kekeke
Some weeks after the match, the 911 incident happens. Receive SMS from a friend and so does Laubah Tatt, Loli and Ninabeh. Check CNN and that was the big news at that time. Nothing much happens then except me getting drunk every other day.
Got a Degree 2001
2 years later quit Intradeco because cannot tahan work as sub-con. Join NEC a few months later on May 2002. Meet a lot of new friends and still keep in contact till now. A few keep a blog like me. They are Jimmy, COWL, Kek, Ai nee and Agnes (this gal I met back in Intel also). Some keeps blogging. Others just stop because too busy. :P If interested in their blog can check out the links on the right side of this page.
Then on Dec 2004 I Quit NEC and join Dell on Jan 2005. For the past few months I had blog about Hell also and I am not going to repeat that. Read Archive if wanna know more. (I Started my blog in NEC then move on to Dell mah … If wanna know then mah read archive lo.. )
Today I am still the same shitty Steve that you know. Crack jokes w/o restriction, Swears around with friends. I am looking for a new work life now. Got sick of work in Dell so I quit end of July 2006. I am so sick that my heartbeat is 120/min non stop + Migraine. Luckily no stop, else me die liao… Now looking for a new work life loo… Health gets better as well after quitting Dell.
Well that’s basically about 45% of the story of my life and that’s me, Steve with IC named Chan Kar Heng. Is that the Steve you know?
PS: - My Life as a Sperm and before that is purely my own imagination. Some are facts and some are the story I make up. I dunno where, why, how, what or when my parents do their things. If wanna know then ask my parent loo… I am just happy to be alive. Thanks mom, Thanks dad…
‘I am still unsure if I am an accident or not…’
Today, the same-old-still-that-shitty-guy ME!
Hi I am Steve Chan! How are you feeling today?
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